I went in for another appointment yesterday morning.  As my ovaries came into view on the ultrasound, I once again shuddered.  Not only because they were still quite lotus breast-like, but because they’ve become monsters.  I half expect them to pop out of my stomach and head for Japan for some karaoke and then mass destruction.  I’m trying to pack up my entire life right now, so I don’t have time to draw a picture of my raging ovaries razing Tokyo.   Unfortunately, putting “ovary attacks Tokyo” into Google image search yields disappointing results.

I have 20 follicles on my right side and 10-12 on my left side (that slacker).  The doctor was once again very pleased and declared me to be ready.  My retrieval appointment has been set for this Wednesday, the 29th, at 7:30 in the morning.  I get a lot of questions about how they get the eggs out, so I’ll explain: basically, after knocking you out and strapping you down so you don’t twitch at all, they insert an ultrasound-guided needle into the wall of the vagina and into the ovary.  Gentle suction is used to retrieve the eggs.  On my schedule, it says it should go from 8:30 am to 9:00 am, so as you can see, it’s a pretty quick procedure.  I’ll stay in recovery for about a half hour and then go home.  I should be up and about by the next day.

As my nurse coordinator was going over my pre-op instructions, she rather ominously said, ” ‘Abdominal tenderness is not uncommon.’ And you will have abdominal tenderness.  You’re going to want to start on extra strength Tylenol right away.”  Apparently, I have a bumper crop of eggs and my body is going to miss them once they’re retrieved, then react by causing me pain.

With that short update, I have to fly.  I have to get the majority of my packing done now since after the procedure I won’t be able to lift anything.  I was trying to think of more egg recipes that I like and failed, but I’ll leave you with this.  It’s my favorite alfredo sauce recipe and it does include an egg yolk.  You won’t want to go back to alfredo from a jar again.


I am delicious.