Covert Missions


At my appointment this morning, the doctor officially scheduled my retrieval for the 3rd at 8am.  I’ll be taking my trigger shot tonight at 9:30pm, then reporting for duty at 7am Monday morning.  The harvest moon rises in less than 48 hours, and you know what that means….

Come one, come all!  It’s….

FERTILITY-BETTING-THEMED ASIAN MINSTREL SHOW KNOCK OFF GOOD TIMES!

"Ms. Too Many Eggs"

“Ms. Too Many Eggs”

Switching it up with the naming scheme this year.  Once again, it’s time to place your bets for the number of eggs I will produce.

Our winner last year was the venerable Joe K.  Joe’s awesome hand-knit prize is unfortunately still residing with me, as he is currently sequestered away in Japan teaching/scaring small children.  (Love you and miss you, Joe.)

I”m sure most of you know how the game is played, but here’s a recap.  A list? Let’s!

–The lucky winner who guesses the correct number will receive a mystery prize from yours truly.  I can’t go into too many specifics about the prize, but it definitely will not suck. If you’re in my neighborhood, I’ll take you out for drinks on top of it all.
–Price is Right rules apply.
— Betting pool opens at the time of publication of this blog post and closes at 8am on Monday the 3rd.
— Bids accepted through text msg, email, facebook, twitter, carrier pigeon, candy gram, or any other communication method of your choice

Here’s some insider information to help you out:

–Eggs produced per cycle: #1: 18 eggs; #2: 17 eggs; #3: 49 eggs, #4: 53 eggs, #5 43 eggs, #6: 55 eggs
— Mean average per cycle: 39
— Ultrasounds show about 10-15 mature follicles per side
— It’s been over a year since my last cycle.  I don’t know if that means my reproductive organs have been lying fallow and will now be more fruitful than ever, or if it means that they’ve been out of training for a year and will subsequently fail all the tests required to become a OO agent.

You’ve got the rules, the clues, the knowledge, and the power!

PLACE BETS NOW

Jason W: 43
Paul S: 32
Ben D: 65
Steve E: 37
Chris E: 44
April H: 57
Joe K: 29
Jesse F: 27
William H: 17
Brittany B: 42
Jake P: 52
Bill R30
Brandon C: 47
Anderson W48
Tamra M: 59
Darlington S: 50
Hamlet D: 53

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So I’ve been pretty lax about keeping this updated on my egg-news.  As my next retrieval is happening on Tuesday, it got a little too late to try to write 5 new blog posts about all the interesting stuff that’s been happening.  Ultimately though, I know you people probably don’t care about that.  But what you do care about is….

HALF BABY-MAKE VACUUM UP GAME 2.0!

That’s right.   Since it was so popular last time, we’re bringing you more betting, more hand-knit prizes, and more pictures of the Banzai guy’s face.

In your face.

Our winner last time was Jon K., who immediately requested the knit version of my uterus, except in hat form.  He specifically wanted the fallopian tubes to be reaching down to tickle his ears.  Did I ever manage to find time in my busy schedule of acting, modeling, egging, and video gaming to make such a hat?  Of course I did!"Everyone should have a uterus.  Anything else would be uncivilized." -- Jon K.

“Everyone should have a uterus.  Anything else would be uncivilized.” — Jon K.

Now why in God’s name would you want to miss out on winning something like that?

Just like last time, Price is Right rules apply. To help you out, here are a few clues:

–Eggs produced per cycle: #1: 18 eggs; #2: 17 eggs; #3: 49 eggs, #4: 53 eggs
–I’m on an entirely different stimulation medication, though with similar doses
–In a baffling display of self-control, I’ve only eaten ONE McGriddle this entire cycle.
–Once again, the doctors are attempting to reign in the all-consuming, egg-producing beasts that are my ovaries, and they would ideally like to get fewer eggs than my last cycle.
–The night that I started my medication, I had a dream that Charo and I were on a mission to blow up the IRS building.

You’ve got the rules, the clues, and the power.  PLACE BETS NOW!!

Bets Thus Far
Erik N: 39
Trevor P: 28
Paul S: 77 (high roller!)
April CH: 41
Ben D: 68
Paige E: 42
Brittainy B: 45
Joe K: 52
Brad K: 65
Christine C: 20
Steve E: 37
Ben B: 40